Who am I?
Why am I here?
What is the meaning of my life?
Where do I belong?
Do you know these questions? I think everyone asks them sooner or later.
We humans need a goal in life, something worth living for.
Especially when you are young, you are searching for yourself and your place in this big world.
As in the last blog I searched for answers in the black, mystical gothic world. The music seemed to understand me. It expressed exactly what I was thinking and feeling. Like a vortex, it drew me deeper and deeper into this wonderful darkness. I realized that I felt good for the moment, but I couldn't find lasting happiness or peace. That's why I needed more and more of the music to reach that feel-good moment. At some point, I came to a point where I realized that I had to make a decision. It was a decision between light and darkness. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that there was a God and that he could give me peace. But I found the life he offered me too boring. But I knew I had to make a decision. If I continued down the path into darkness, there would be no turning back. I was desperate. The music couldn't satisfy the deepest longing in me, in fact it was growing.
So one evening I made a groundbreaking decision: I knelt down and asked the God who created the heavens, the earth and the seas to come into my life. I asked him for forgiveness for having disregarded him for so long. It was a long process, but the more I turned to this God, the more joy entered my heart. Slowly I separated myself from the music and the other things that had so captivated me. I began to occupy myself with the God of the Bible. In amazement, I realized that He loves me just as I am. He knows all my weaknesses, my shortcomings and mistakes. But he still loves me. His love is independent of my behavior. His love was shown in the fact that he gave the most precious thing he had: himself. Through his death on the cross, I can live. I can live this life here, but I can also know that I will live an eternity at his side in a world without suffering and death. I was amazed to realize that this was what I had been searching for so long. I have found myself in Jesus. One book helped me a lot on this journey: “The way to Christ”.
But what does all this have to do with my path to painting?
As you may remember, I worked in the last post talked about my dream job as a farmer. Unfortunately, it didn't work out because nobody wanted to take me on as an apprentice. So I ended up slipping into an apprenticeship as a painter and varnisher. It was a tough three years that pushed me to my physical and mental limits. But I enjoyed working with paint and the creative elements of the apprenticeship. I learned how to paint lettering and many other design techniques. Here you can see a genealogical table that I painted for my grandparents' golden wedding anniversary.
Towards the end of this training, I bought a book about drawing animals.
I tried my hand at pencil drawings. I was fascinated by the pictures of Victoria Frances, a gothic painter. I sketched some of her pictures (click on the pictures to open the slideshow).
During my training as an occupational therapist, I painted some Bible verses on wood. You can see the pictures at the end of this article.
I also discovered sewing during this time. For a while, this hobby replaced painting.
It wasn't until about five years later that I rediscovered brushes and paint. In the meantime, I had moved to Upper Bavaria. Here I met a very nice couple who helped me to find a home in this beautiful part of the world.
Unfortunately, the man was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was looking for ways to give them hope and courage in this difficult situation. An idea came to me: I would paint an encouraging Bible verse in a picture frame, just as I had tried to do a few years ago. This was the moment I ordered my first acrylic paints. But soon it became too boring for me to just paint Bible verses. I was looking for more ideas on how to bring the Bible verses into a picture. So I went searching on YouTube and found tutorials for landscape painting for beginners. That was the beginning of my journey into landscape painting - into a world where you can create things with brushes and paint. Since then, this hobby has stayed with me.
In the next few posts I would like to show you some of my first attempts. You can see how my first simple pictures on cardboard have developed into pictures on real canvases.
Here are my first colorful pictures. Click on them to see them in full size. The first pictures on wood were created in 2013, the ones in the frame in 2017/2018. The canvas heart was one of my first works on canvas.
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